—Kids, I am gonna tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother.
—Are we being punished for something?
—No.
—Is it gonna take a while?
—Yes.
—25 years ago, before I was dad, I have this whole other life.
it was way back to 2005. I was 27, just starting a make in architecture, living in New York with Marshal, my best friend from college. My life was good, and then uncle Marshal went to screw the whole thing up.
—will you marry me?
－yes, perfect, and you are engaged. You pop up the champagne. You drink a toast. You have sex on the kitchen floor. Don’t have sex on our kitchen floor.
—Got it. Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.
—Are you kidding? It’s you and Lily! I have been there for all the big moments of you and Lily, the night you met, your first date, other first things.
—yeah, sorry, we thought you were asleep.
—It’s physics, Marshal. When the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves, too. My God,you are getting engaged tonight.
—Yeah. What are you doing tonight?
—What was I doing? Your uncle Marshal is taking the biggest step of his life. And me? I am calling up your uncle Barney.
—Hey, see, you know, however, I thought I had a thing for half Asian girls, but now I got a new favorite, Lebanesegirls. Lebanese girls are the new half Asians.
—Hey, you want to do something tonight?
—Ok, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes, and suit up!
—hey.
—where is your suit? Just once when I said “suit up”, I wish you’d put on a suit.
—I did that one time.
—It was a blazer.
—You know ever since college it has been Marshal, Lily and me. Now it’s gonna be Marshal and Lily, and me. They gonna get married, start a family. Before long I am gonna be that weird ,middle-aged bachelor, their kids call “uncle Ted” .
—I see what this is about. Have you forget what I said to you the night we met?
Ted, I am gonna teach you how to leave. I am Barney. We met at the urinal.
—Oh, alright, alright.
—Lesson 1, lose the goatee, it doesn’t go with your suit.
—I am not wearing a suit.
—Lesson 2, get a suit. Suits are cool, exhibitive. Lesson 3, don’t even think about getting married until you’re 30.
—30, right, you are right. I guess that just your best friends get engaged, you start thinking about that staff.
—I thought I was your best friend. Ted, say I am your best friend.
—You are my best friend, Barney.
—Good. And as your best friend, I suggest we play a little game I’d like to call “Have you met Ted?”
—No no no, we are not playing “Have you met Ted?”
—Hi, have you met Ted?
—Hi, I am Ted.
—Yasmin.
—Very pretty name.
—Thanks, it’s Lebanese.
key words and phrases:
an incredible story 一个美好的故事
take a while 需要一段时间
screw the whole thing up 把一切都搞杂了
get engaged 订婚
pop up the champagne 开香槟
drink a toast 祝酒词
taking the biggest step of one's life 迈出了人生的重大一步
half Asian girls 半亚洲血统的女孩
Lebanese 黎巴嫩人
suit up 穿上西装
before long 不久以后
weird a. 怪异的
goatee 山羊胡
